The Do’s and Don’t’s of Clam Jam


DO eat some breakfast! EAT A BAGEL, CARB UP. IT’S GAME DAY AND WE’RE IN IT FOR THE LONG HAUL. But seriously, Clam Jam starts early and is a very long day. Embrace the opportunity for carbs and eat a substantial breakfast to keep your energy and your stomach at a good place all day. Besides, people don’t go to Clam Jam for the food * smug face emoji here *

Do NOT get too drunk. Take this seriously. It’s easy to get caught up in the excitement of the day, especially when it starts so early, but it’s a marathon not a sprint- pace yourself. Spending your day either a) throwing up b) passed out on some senior’s couch or c) in the back of an ambulance are three of the last places you want to be.

DO wear a reliable bag and shoes. It’s a long day so wear shoes you can function in comfortably. There is a lot of aimless wandering involved. Also, bring a reliable bag to hold all of your stuff together. Your hands will be busy taking selfies, holding Solo cups, and peeling your hair from your lip-gloss so bring a bag that will keep your belongings together so you don’t have to.

Do NOT pee in public! Anybody who has been to Clam Jam before knows what a struggle finding a bathroom is. Even if you “know someone” on the Point, odds are that by noon their bathroom has reached some Daddy Day Care levels of scary. As tempting as it may be to find a secretive corner and crouch, DON’T because you never know who might see you and also that’s kind of really gross. Pee before you leave and mentally prepare yourself to hold it. 

DO be respectful of seniors’ houses. The seniors who live on the Point are kind enough to open their house to the majority of Fairfield’s student body, so the least we could do in return is respect their property. They have security deposits and personal belongings that you should respect. Treat their house the way you would want people to treat yours. Plus, do you want to realize the house you just spilled a whole cup of beer in belongs to that intimidating Regina George-esque senior in your Philosophy class? Um, heck no.

Do NOT drunkenly mess with a police officer. These are not your selfie-taking, Papa-John-looking public safety officers on bikes; these are real life police officers of Fairfield County. They can and will arrest you if you go out of your way and give them a reason to. Yeah, they’re going to kick us off the Point a few times and give us a few dirty looks, but that’s no reason to get in their face.

DO establish some kind of a buddy system. You don’t have to stay with a single person all day but make sure you generally know where your good friends are. If you or they get into trouble (particularly of the overly inebriated sort), you’re going to want to know where they are, not be drunk-crying alone next to some random Junior sobbing, “I lost my friends forevveerrrr.”

Do NOT attempt to actually swim in the ocean. It’s a great “what-if” convo starter, but don’t for a second think that running into the water with a few bold girlfriends is a good idea. Spoiler alert: you’ll probably forget your phone is in your back pocket, your mascara will smear Avril Lavigne style, and everybody is going to assume you’re embarrassingly wasted while also recording you on their Snapchat story.

DO take pictures! You can still document your day with an endless stream of selfies and “My school is cooler than yours” crowd shots, but remember to keep pictures somewhat classy. Standing upside down doing a keg-stand while giving the student body a glimpse of your cash and prizes is not a cute look. Keep it together and don’t pose for a picture you wouldn’t want your mom to see.

Do NOT put things on social media that your future employers wouldn’t be happy about. I know many of us shrugged off that recent e-mail from Career Planning but what they’re saying is entirely true- employers will look at your social media and your behavior, as it is displayed on the Internet, could affect your future career. Clam Jam is an awesome day, but don’t let the likes you’ll get on a profile pic of you getting Smirnoff Iced on top of a roof in front of the beach while wearing a sombrero cloud your judgment and ruin your future.

DO make sure all of your stuff is fully charged! Clam Jam is a long day so make sure your electronics are ready to go, especially your phone. Not only will it be harder to keep track of your friends throughout the day, but it also makes the chances of finding your phone, if it gets lost, that much harder. Side note: Get your “Find My iPhone” apps ready.

DO NOT bring anything irreplaceable with you! That diamond pendant necklace your dad gave you for your 18th birthday? This is neither the time nor the place for that kind of bling, honey. Stick to that statement necklace you’d miss but could easily replace.

DO be safe. It seems that somehow half the people at Clam Jam end up on somebody’s roof, but while you’re up there letting your freak flag fly, don’t do anything dangerous. Some friendly reminders: you can’t fly, Project X was only a movie, that guy isn’t actually strong enough (or sober enough) to catch you. Keep the “fun” in funneling by making sure a balcony is involved.

And finally…

DO have fun! Clam Jam is the best day of year in StagNation. As long as you remember to bring your common sense along with your favorite sunglasses, everything should go swimmingly (but hopefully not literally.)

This article was posted on Her Campus Fairfield’s website on April 25th, 2014. 

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